© Play HunterThis much I learned about Mr Waltz... 1/10
© Play HunterHis body linguistics are... 2/10
© Play Hunterpure camera candy... 3/10
© Play Hunterworthy of their own academy award category. 4/10
© Play HunterIn interviews, he likes to attack... 5/10
© Play Hunterwith the kind of predatory panache... 6/10
© Play HunterSS colonel Hans Landa killed his strudel pastry... 7/10
© Play Hunterin Inglourious Basterds. 8/10
© Play HunterThe face has many stories to tell for those who care to see. 9/10
© Play HunterChristoph Waltz, caught in Zurich on September 26, 2015 10/10
The face has many stories to tell. The red carpet isn’t usually the place to express them. Or so I thought until Christoph Waltz turned a red carpet reception at Zurich Film Festival into a high-drama movie for those who cared to see. His body linguistics are worthy of their own academy award category: Waltz has a tendency to attack hapless German-speaking journalists with the kind of poise and predatory panache SS Colonel Hans Landa killed his strudel pastry in Inglourious Basterds. When the senior reporter in the cream-coloured dinner jacket from Austrian state TV ORF presents Waltz with a book, in which he apparently features prominently, he replies, with perfect Viennese charm: “I shall definitely maybe have a look.” (“Ich werde mir das bestimmt vielleicht anschauen). It makes perfect camera candy.
Wait for the cream
It’s my turn. I open fire with a smile and my finest cut-glass English accent.
– Mister Waltz, what makes you instantly happy?
– The sight of a beautiful woman
– (Oh damn. I was prepared for a punch, “my wife”, mein Gott, anything, really. But a charm offensive? Inhale. Exhale. Contenance). Anything else?
– (Waltz comes scarily close, firmly looks me in the eye, lowers his voice to a killingly soft tone) Do I need anything else?
– (Do I need anything else?! I mentally run through all the options) No.
– Ha! (He exclaims with a deeply satisfied, mission-accomplished kind of smile)
Did I just get killed? Or did I enjoy my apple strudel moment? Flattery is a dish best enjoyed with a pinch of salt. But give me perfectly delivered alpha Hollywood flirting and quality camera candy anytime. These are the to-die-for moments. Je ne regrette rien.